What's the Worst that Could Happen?
by Eboni Black
Summary: Crack-Fic. Kagome and Sesshomaru have an argument.....about children. Humor, OOC, One-shot


Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Inuyasha or any of its residual characters, products, etc.

Warnings: Vomit Factor (Cuteness), A little OOC

Rating: PG-13

Enjoy!

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"The answer is no." Her reply was firm, unreasonable, but firm. There was no doubt in her voice, nor was there any weakness that he could pinpoint for exploitation. She was resolved to her answer and nothing short of out and out persuasion, also known as begging, would sway her opinions in his favor.

"I do not see why you are being so unreasonable. Is it so bad to have one around the house?" He kept his face stoic as to not let her see how desperate he was for her answer. He could barely hold himself back as it was and for her to see this weakness would be unacceptable.

"Unreasonable? _Really._ I don't think that there's anything _unreasonable_ about my answer. _You_ don't have to handle every situation that comes along, every problem that needs to be solved, or anything related to it." She glared at him, her piercing blue eyes boring into him in a way that only she could accomplish.

"What's the worst that could happen?" From her expression that was the wrong question to ask. He felt the first stirrings of fear flutter in his stomach as he wondered what sort of lecture he was going to get this time. He steeled himself, preparing himself for the explosion of rants and tirades.

He sighed in relief as she visibly calmed herself; it seemed as if she had decided to reason with him. He was ecstatic about this knowing that he was a demon that could never be reasoned with.

"Alright, Sesshomaru. What's the worst that could happen? What about the time the last one got hold of Bakusaiga and nearly destroyed half of Tokyo in the process?" She huffed, literally huffed, complete with her hands perched delicately on her hips and her foot tapping lightly on the tile floor. He was distracted for a moment by her sheer….._cuteness. _Gods he hated that word but he could find no other to describe the picture that she was making.

A clearing of her throat brought him back to the present question, "Firstly, mate, it was not half of Tokyo that would have been destroyed but rather all of it. And this Sesshomaru handled the situation before anything irreparable happened." He smirked, his fang pressing lightly into his lower lip as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Uh huh, and what about the one before that when Inuyasha's….er…..personal parts….were being threatened?" She hardened her stare, knowing that he was going to come up with another way around the severity of the situation.

"Again, the problem was handled accordingly and no damage was done." He was about to continue, tell her to give in, when the explosion finally happened. He cursed himself for pressing his luck.

"No damage? _No Damage!_ I had to listen to him ranting for a _week_ and you say 'No Damage'!" He was in for it now, he just knew it. He fought the urge to cover his sensitive ears as she screeched, the high pitched keening sound that only dogs could truly hear and appreciate for its sheer cruelty, loudly in anger. "He called me, Sesshomaru. Every night, for a _week_! An entire week of no sleeping, irritability, and rage! All because you turn into a child every time one is around! You literally turn stupid! For one of the smartest people I know, you really are inexplicably dumb!"

Usually, when these rants happened he could handle her rage well, he could disregard her comments as passion filled words that truly held no meaning. But no one, not even his mate, could question his prowess in the world of knowledge. Nobody called him stupid.

"Kagome." She quieted quickly to hear his words. "I hardly think that my desire to have another pup warrants you calling me an idiot. I rather think you should be flattered that I wish to keep pupping you, giving you life to carry and bring forth into this world."

She held up her hand for silence, another thing that enraged him, but he knew she was being serious.

He waited.

And waited.

He watched as she visibly calmed herself before she spoke, "Sesshomaru. I love you, truly I do. But out of the last 521 years I have carried, birthed, and reared 347 pups. 347! All of whom have children. 723 to be exact! That's over a thousand names that I have to remember! A thousand mouths that I have to feed! If we keep going this way, family reunions are going to be hell! We'll have to kick every human being off of Japan just so that we can all get together!"

She paused, catching her breath. Little did he know she was just working up more steam.

"My vagina hurts!"

He sputtered, "What?"

"My. Vagina. Hurts! As in, I'm tired of pushing a watermelon through a garden hose! I'm done. I don't want any more children. I love them all dearly, truly I do, but this is ridiculous!"

He sighed, being a great daiyoukai he knew when the battle had been lost and when to retreat. But still, he couldn't help but try one last tactic; guilt trip.

"I just thought you enjoyed having someone to care for, someone to watch grow and mature." He watched her face intently and when he saw no sympathy he gave up. There was always tomorrow.

But she surprised him yet again.

"I want to have sex wherever I want."

He raised his perfectly arched eyebrow, "We do."

"I want to be loud while having sex wherever I want."

He still didn't understand, "You never had to be quiet, that was a choice of your own making."

"Sesshomaru, I want to walk around naked and not worry about offending anyone's eyes."

He could see that she was becoming exasperated with how he simply wasn't seeing the point, "Anyone who took offense to seeing you naked would have to be stupid."

There were a few moments of silence, until-

"You have empty nest syndrome!" She shouted it so suddenly it took him a second to realize exactly what she had said, but by then she had continued. "I'm surprised I didn't see it before! You like having a pup here, don't you? You don't like having an empty house."

He glared.

And glared some more.

"What?" She was confused as to why he was looking at her in such a way.

"Woman, this Sesshomaru is not a bird and therefore does not 'nest.' Therefore your allegations are null and void." He was content in his victory, except she pulled something that he wasn't expecting; the I-Don't-Believe-You card.

"Uh-huh. Suuuuuuure." She laughed quietly as she walked away from the sputtering youkai lord. Maybe she would reconsider, but for now she would let him see how it felt to lose an argument for once.

Ah, sweet victory.

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A/N: Alright, I don't know where this came from or why I suddenly decided to start writing it. Let me know what you think while I go kick my muse. Thanks!


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